More funny crap

Posted in Fun on 05/18/2010 by WickedGentleman

Hi Dracula kids,  I’ll give you more funny crap today. Prepare your soul for this.

“He’s a vampire!
“I object most stronkly. It iss such an easy assumption to believe that everyvun with an Uberwald accent is a vampire, is it not? There are many thousands of people from Uberwald who are not vampires!”
“All right, I’m sorry, but—”
“I am a vampire, as it happens. But if I had said ‘Hello my cheeky cock sparrow mate old boy by crikey,’ what vould you have said zen, eh?”
“We’d have been completely taken in.”

-Terry Pratchett, The Truth

As you can find on TV Tropes… Vhen the Classical Movie Vampire became such an iconic portrayal of vampires, the vay they spoke also became iconic. A large number of vampires in fiction have adopted the same affectations in their speech. As more modern portrayals have been introduced, this has become less common, but it is still frequently used in comedic portrayals. All of vhich is to say that there are an avful lot of vampires around who “vant to sahk yo blahd“.
Now see what is really strange… Thai vampires! Do they have any accent? Well I guess…. Yes.
Or maybe this accent is provocated because of those fake fangs… Omg they look really terrible… As in this one…
Those people tried SO HARD to be funny… SO HARD…..! I guess I’ll laugh just because they had work to produce this adversiment… Can you imagine? You have a product, and you want publicity. You pay lots of money to an agency… AND THEY DO THIS!….
Now… This is cool!
Yeah! Vampiahs vere people too! No moar descrimination. Just shut up and let them “sahk yo blahd“. If the humanity is going to vanish one day… It will be because of those jokes. Stupid humans…
Omg, bottled sun ray! This can be super effective, vampire hunters. Maybe if you drink a lot of those rays, you may kill a vampire with one burp.
Ok, THIS…. Is freaky… WTH? Drink Coke, vampires. You know? As they say “If wine is the blood of Jesus, Coke is the blood of Earth.” I would NEVER think that I could scape from a vampire using coca-cola. Meybe because it’s corrosive.
Ok, this last one is not REALLY about vampires… And more about goths… But I need to post!
Congrats to Heineken’s agency, they were funny.
I dedicate to this post, the sentence “Vampire: you are doing it wrong”.
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Vampire, the Dark Humor

Posted in Fun on 05/17/2010 by WickedGentleman

Hi, your little bloodsucker-babies.

Today I bring you some fun… The text bellow it’s about Vampire: The Masquerade ((c) WhiteWolf) Role Play Game. The text does not belong to me! I just translated it and I don’t know who it! I found on Feirarpg’s forum!

SORRY FOR BAD TRANSLATION! I hope it’s not THAT bad… I also hope you enjoy it… AND LAUGH OUT LOUD, just like I did, bloody-fangs.

And once again the antediluvians are together in a dark room to look for answers and to explain their origin…

Venture: Ok guys, sit down please. I suppose you’re thinking about the reason you were called.

Toreador: Yes, I think so. I have a meeting in two hours. And I just CAN’T be late.

Ventrue: Right, right. Order! I don’t know about you, but my children are asking me… Er… Too much. Some kind of… Compelling… Questions…

Malkav: Oh well, just tell them that when daddy and mommy love each other…

Ventrue: Shut Up, Malkav!! Anyway… They wanna know from where they came… And how everything happened. I think it’s time to give them some answers.

[Silence.]

Brujah: Why are you asking us this shit? We don’t know this damn things!

Saulot: NO DIRTY LANGUAGE!

Brujah: Sorry.

Ventrue: And how about you, Absimilliard? You’re the guy who always knows everything…

Nosferatu: No, I…. I don’t want to be called “Absimilliard” again! Today is the day that I name myself “Nosferatu”.

[Silence.]

Ravnos: I don’t know, man… Absimilliard just… Looks like your pretty face.

Nosferatu: NO! I refuse this name!!

Ventrue: Leave him alone, Ravnos.

Toreador: Talking about that…

Ventrue: What’s up now..?

Toreador: I choose the pseudonym “Toreador”.

[And more silence.]

Assamite: You NEVER saw a tour! You Never FOUGHT against one, Arikel!

Toreador: Leave me, Haqin.

Assamite: In this case, I choose the name of “Assamite”!

Ravnos: I was going to say “something full of..” Oh, forget it.

Ventrue: Can we keep talking about the answers?

Lasombra: I think “Nosferatu” is a good name, Absimilliard.

Nosferatu: Yeah, it’s easy to pronounce. We don’t need to retract your fangs.

Ventrue: GENTLEMEN!

[Silence.]

Venture: Ok, any ideas?

Tzimisce: Hm….

Ventrue: Yes, Tzim?

Tzimisce: You don’t think this can be some kind of sickness, may be…?

Saulot: No…. It’s not.

Malkav: Yay! I have an idea!

Ventrue: And what is it…?

Malkav: yaaaaay! Yay! We… ALL… We are ALL… From the… PLANET YUGGOTH!

Brujah: Malkav?

Malkav: Yeah…?

Brujah: DIE!!!

[Silence.]

Malkav: It’s not AMAZING…? You don’t have Dominate!

Brujah: True men don’t need that shit…

[Hits on the table.]

Malkav: Ohhh..!

Ravnos: Ok, I got it.

Ventrue: Yes…?

Ravnos: They are no real vampires. They just think they are.

Ventrue: Ok, then all of them will try to prove you’re wrong. And they will go to see the beautiful sunrise.

Lasombra: And…? Let them die! The idiots… Less problems to me, this noisy children… Asking this sick questions…

Toreador: Pervert.

Lasombra: Hm..? Am I not the guardian of your brothers?

Tzimisce: Yeah, this is trrrrrue, my frrrrriend.

Toreador: Sick.

[Laughs]

Saulor: The guardian of the brothers… Wait! This made me remember something… You know this guys with funny towels in theyre heads.

Assamite: Be CAREFULL with that, the eyes.

Saulot: Sorry. Anyway, they have this old history about a man that killed his brother and was cursed, then…

Set: Cursssssssed? Hmmm… I liked it!

Nosferatu: Yes, but if YOU say that, no one will NEVER believe.

Tremere: I know. We did it with magic.

[Silence.]

Brujah: WHO the hell are you…?

Tremere: Oh…! Tremere, the arrogant mage! At your service.

Saulot: Wait… You shouldn’t be here ’till 1314 b.C.

Tremere: And? I’m an Oraculum of Time. I can be wherever I want.

Ventrue: A mortal, hm? Hey, Tremere!

Ventrue: Yes…?

Ventrue: Get out.

Tremere: Hm..? Ah right… [grumblings] Damn… I need to learn how to do that.

Ventrue: Ok, now… We can be someone with this ‘curse’ or… Wait, gangrel you didn’t say anything… What you think?

[Silence.]

Ventrue: Gangrel?

[More silence.]

Ventrue: Someone know where she is?

Ravnos: Ah… These days… We had a lot of disagreements.

Malkav: Ann… Mommy doesn’t want you anymore?

Ravnos: Go to hell!

Malkav: She do it in the doggy way?

[POW!]

Ravnos: Thank you, Brujah.

Brujah: No problem.

Ventrue: Ok, then… What should we do with this ‘curse’…?

Saulot: Well, they say that the two children of the firs man had to guve some offers to God. The first son gave Him plants and vegetables… The second gave Him animal blood.

All: Yeah! Looks cool! Nice!

Saulot: So… The oldest, Cain, I guess… Killed Abel, the youngest, and was cursed by God for the first murdering.

Assamite: Yeah, very creative, this Cain.

Set: SSSSSSSooooo… We dec(sssss)end from a pssssssycho greengrocer…? What’sssss the problem with dec(sssssss)ending from the murdered?? Ssssssso we would be the choosen onessssss… God choose ussss! The powersss from the DEVINE POWERSSSSSS….

Malkav: You have a complex of God, don’t you Set? Tell me about your mother… She locked you up in a wardrobe or…

[POW!]

Brujah: Last warning.

Ventrue: Set, please… Don’t sant up on your chair.

Tremere: i liked the “cursed by God” thing, really.

Ventrue: How did you get there?

Tremere: Mail. You don’t know everything. Hey Saulot!

Saulot: Yes?

Tremere: I was thinking… Haven’t we met before? Can we talk a second outside? Will not take your time!

Saulor: Course. You look like a decent man.

[The door closes]

Lasombra: I’m thinking what he wants…

Toreador: I guess I prefer the oldest brother. He’s impressive! The figure that sacrifices himself to his Lord, and is consumed by the envy, in an act of despair he kills his own brother! And later he repents himself, TOO LATE to avoid the cruel judgment from a God who has NO MERCY and he is CONDEMNED to walk around through the Earth, away from his comrades and OH HORROR! HORROR! The HUMANITY! The ANGST!!!

Brujah: What’s “angst”?

Set: It’sssssss a kind of crossssssss, but with a c(ssss)ircle on the top. My people love thissss…

Brujah: Ah… [Pause.]… I don’t got it…

Toreador: FILISTEUS.

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! – Out side.]

Tzimisce: What the hell was that?

Nosferatu: It’s Saulot’s voice. Hey Shut up outside!

[The door onpens]

Tremere: Oh… I am sorr… Ah… Saulot said that him… ah… He had to leave! Fast… Really fast… Like… Ahh… Well he waws very happy! And… Would be happier… if… If he could talk to you again… Later…

Nosferatu: It’s me or he looks pale…?

Ventrue: Who cares? Back to the curse….

Lasombra: Well, we are HIS children? If we are, how we couldn’t just don’t know where he is?

Malkav: Er… He made us… And ran away… Too fast.

Ravnos: No, no no….. He made some other guys… And THEY made us….

Toreador: And he, repentant of the horror he spread all over the earth, banned himself!

Malkav: And ran away REALLY fast!

Toreador: If you’re saying….

Ventrue: And why are we so different?

Toreador: The curse works in strange ways…

Nosferatu: Yes! I used to be the most beautiful man on earth….

Ravnos: Yes, of course.

Lasombra: And I had a reflex!

Brujah: Can I be a philosopher?

Ravnos: And Toreador used to have a good taste for good things.

Malkav: And I used to be insane!

[Silence]

Ventrue: I guess we could be… Ah… We are abusing the luck.

Set: Any better idea…?

Ventrue: No. Well… Let’s vote. Magic?

Tremere: Yes!

Ventrue: One.

[Silence.]

Venture: Ok… Alliens from the Yuggoth planet?

Malkav: Twenty Three!

Ventrue: Your other personalities do not count, Malkav…

Malkav: Ahhhh….

Ventrue: The choosen by God… Set… Lasombra… Tzim… Anyone eles?

Assamite: Me!

Ventrue: Ok, four… Cursed children of a psycho greengrocer? Four… And me, five.

[Sigh.]

Lasombra: Influencing the vote! Bureaucrat!

Ventrue: If you don’t like, make your own group.

Lasombra: Yes, maybe I’ll do that.

Ventrue: Ok, so… You need to spread this information to your childrens… And I send you notes three times in a month till the begining of the next year. [murmurs] Ok, someone needs to drink?

Malkav: Tremere had already…

[AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!]

Tzimisce: Why you threw him through the window, Brujah?

Brujah: I don’t know, man.. It’s something I just needed to do… [Sigh.] You don’t understand me…

Assamite: [whispering] Hey, Tremere!

Tremere: What?

Assamite: Saulot… You did it, didn’t you? You drank his blood…

Tremere: Yes… Why…?

[Silence.]

Assamite: How was it…?

[ THE TOO BAD JOKES (OMG I’M DYING!)]

  • Q: What does a baby bat say before going to bed?
    A: Turn on the dark. I’m afraid of the light!
  • Q: What is Transylvania?
    A: Dracula’s terror-tory
  • Q: What does Dracula say when introduced to someone?
    A: “Hello, pleased to eat you!”
  • Q: Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
    A: The Vampire State Building.

OMG IT WAS SOOOOOO FUNNY! I could die….

Today Vampires

Posted in Real Vampires 'n SerialKillers on 05/11/2010 by WickedGentleman

Hello, I’m going to do a short post about the real modern and ‘kinda-goth’ vampires. The theme becomes massive everytime we talk about it so I’m not going too deep on this theme.

Today vampires.

Yes, they do exist and they are outside, living their normal lifes like we do. The real modern vampires are normal people with a strange taste for human blood.

There are many of them around the world. They drink blood from victims that have conceded the act and they feed themselves from this blood. There are also vampires that feed themselves trough human energy.

The modern real vampires can be find on specific clubs. They normally dress as the ‘gothics’ or like middle-age people (from the german word ‘mittelalter’ sorry for the translation.) they have also artificial fangs and normaly they drain victims blood without really bitting them.

I’m not saying that it’s right or ‘usual’ to be like that or that you should do this. People who kill or haunt people, in Vampire Don’s words, should be locked up. So, be mature when you’re reading an article like this one.

There are a lot of videos and interviews with this modern vampires, and you can find them on youtube or all around the internet. I’ll show you just the best ones.

– She’s not a declared vampire, but she actualy drinks pigs blood and spits it on her public, I was there… hehehehe Yvonne Wilczynsk is just an amazing girl. (Onielar – Darkned Nocturn Slaughtercult)

Curiosities About Vampires

Posted in General on 05/04/2010 by WickedGentleman

A few curiosities about vampires (famous or not):

  • A persistent rumor asserts that Lon Chaney was Universal Movies’s first choice for the first Dracula Movie, and that Bela Lugosi was chosen only due to Chaney’s death shortly before production.
  • The Nosferatu movie is an adaptation from Bram Stoker’s Dracula, because the creators were not able to pay for copyrights.
  • Stakes on the heart can sometimes kill or just paralize. For some vampires they represent no risk so as the crucifixes and garlic.
  • In the RPG Vampire: The masquerade, you can turn animals into vampire animals.
  • In the movie Underworld they created a werewolf-vampire based on the Whitewolf creations.
  • Nosferatu, Der Vampyr is the 5th on the list of the best horror movies of the world.
  • Nosferatu is also the 4th on the lis of the most pathetic vampires of the world.
  • Edward Cullen is the first of that list.
  • Edward Cullen is the first man on the list of the most perfect lover for girls.
  • Mr. Vampire – Is a comedy-horror movie and it’s the 21th on the list of the best horror movies of the world.
  • Fright Night is the 12th on the list of the best horror movies of the world.
  • Salem’s Lot is the 8th.
  • The movie “Lost Boys” is the most remembered and considered as a classic vampire movie of the world.
  • Dracula is the second one.
  • The Twilight series are the most watched vampire movies of the world.
  • Interview with the vampire is the second one.
  • Prince Mamuwalde (Blacula) is the first black vampire on the cinema.
  • Vampire Hunter D is the 29th on the list of the most watched vampire movies of the world.
  • Dracula (1931) is the 3rd one.
  • Alucard (Hellsing) is the most famous vampire of the world for teenagers between 12 and 20 years.
  • Edward Cullen is the second one.
  • The vampire movies fill 60% of the lis of the best horror movies of the world.
  • Vampires are the most popular horror creatures of the world.
  • Zombies are the second one.
  • The band Bauhaus composed a song named “Bela Lugosi’s Dead”.
  • The most funny horror series is the Saturday Night Live – Goth Talk.
  • The movie “Lost Boys” had influenced a lot of murderes.
  • 2 of the top “10 Evil Serial Killers” recieve the name of “Vampire”.
  • 1 reviece the name of Vlad III, The Impaler (OH YEAH BABY!)
  • 1 recieve the name of Elizabeth Bathory.
  • The vampires compose 40% of the list.
  • 70% of the girls between 15 to 18 years old prefer vampires than princes.
  • Lestat the Lioncourt (Tom Cruise) is the most sexy vampire of the world.
  • Edward Cullen is the second one.
  • The History Chanel has a documentary about real vampires.
  • Vlad III, The Impaler (TWO TIMES OMG!) is considered the unique and genuine real vampire that ever existed. For some vampirologists.
  • There’s a Dracula institute on California.
  • On the University of Victoria and University of Toronto (both canadian) you can find the “Vampirology” course.
  • For the Whitewolf (C) Lilith was the first vampire that ever existed.

Sources:

Horror Movies

Reel Movie Critic

Snarkerati

Listverse

Arnont Paule

Posted in Real Vampires 'n SerialKillers on 04/27/2010 by WickedGentleman

The Arnont Paule (Arnold Paole or Arnaut Pavle, as you can also find) was the man who brought up the Eighteenth century vampire controversy… Or, how should I say, 99% of the modern vampires are based on his not so sucessfull life.

Arnont was a Serbian hajduk who was believed to have become a vampire after his death, initiating an epidemic of supposed vampirism that killed at least 16 people in his native village of Meduegna, located at the Morava river near the town of Paraćin, Serbia. His case, became famous because of the direct involvement of the Austrian authorities and the documentation by Austrian physicians and officers, who confirmed the reality of vampires. Their report of the case was distributed in Western Europe and contributed to the spread of vampire belief among educated Europeans. The report and its significance for the subsequent Eighteenth century vampire controversy are nowadays explained with the poor understanding of the process of corpse decomposition at the time.

His first outbreak is only known from Flückinger’s report about the second epidemic and its prehistory. According to the account of the Medveđa locals as retold there, Arnold Paole was a hajduk who had moved to the village from the Turkish-controlled part of Serbia. He reportedly often mentioned that he had been plagued by a vampire at a location named Gossowa (perhaps Kosovo), but that he had cured himself by eating soil from the vampire’s grave and smearing himself with his blood. About 1725, he broke his neck (stupid.) in a fall from a haywagon. Within 20 or 30 days after Paole’s death, four persons complained that they had been plagued by him. These people all died shortly thereafter. Ten days later, villagers, advised by their hadnack (a military/administrative title) who had witnessed such events before, opened his grave. They saw that the corpse was undecomposed “and that fresh blood had flowed from his eyes, nose, mouth, and ears; that the shirt, the covering, and the coffin were completely bloody; that the old nails on his hands and feet, along with the skin, had fallen off, and that new ones had grown”. Concluding that Paole was indeed a vampire, they drove a stake through his heart, to which he reacted by groaning and bleeding, and burned the body. They then disinterred Paole’s four supposed victims and performed the same procedure, to prevent them from becoming vampires.

About 5 years later, in the winter of 1731, a new epidemic occurred, with more than ten people dying within several weeks, some of them in just two or three days without any previous illness. The numbers and the age of the deceased vary somewhat between the two main sources.

Glaser’s report on the case states that by 12 December, 13 people had died in the course of 6 weeks. Glaser names the following victims (here rearranged chronologically): Miliza (Serbian Milica, a 50-year-old woman); Milloi (Serbian Miloje, a 14-year-old boy); Joachim (a 15-year-old boy); Petter (Serbian Petar, a 15-day-old boy); Stanno (Serbian Stana, a 20-year-old woman) as well as her newborn child, which Glaser notes was buried “behind a fence, where the mother had lived” due to not having lived long enough to be baptized; Wutschiza (Serbian Vučica, a 9-year-old boy), Milosova (Serbian Milošova, actually “Miloš’s wife”, a 30-year-old wife of a hajduk), Radi (Serbian Rade, a twenty-four-year-old man), and Ruschiza (Serbian Ružica, a forty-year-old woman). The sick had complained of stabs in the sides and pain in the chest, prolonged fever and jerks of the limbs. Glaser reports that the locals considered Milica and Stana to have started the vampirism epidemic. According to his retelling, Milica had come to the village from Ottoman-controlled territories six years before. The locals’ testimony indicated that she had always been a good neighbour and that, to the best of their knowledge, she had never “believed or practiced something diabolic”. However, she had once mentioned to them that, while still in Ottoman lands, she had eaten two sheep that had been killed by vampires. Stana, on the other hand, had admitted that when she was in Ottoman-controlled lands, she had smeared herself with vampire blood as a protection against vampires (as these had been very active there). According to local belief, both things would cause the women to become vampires after death.

According to Flückinger’s report, by the 7th of January, seventeen people had died within a period of three months (the last two of these apparently after Glaser’s visit. He mentions Miliza, an unnamed 8 year old child; Milloe, Stana (a 20-year-old woman, died in childbirth after a three-day illness, reportedly said that she had smeared herself with vampire blood) as well as her stillborn child (as Flückinger observes, “half-eaten by the dogs due to a slovenly burial”), an unnamed 10-year-old girl, Joachim, the hadnack’s unnamed wife, Ruscha, Staniko, Miloe, Ruscha’s child (18 days old), Rhade, the local standard-bearer’s unnamed wife, apparently identical to Milošova in the other report along with her child, the 8-week old child of the hadnack and Stanoicka.  According to her father-in-law Joviza (Jovica), Stanoicka had gone to bed healthy 15 days previous, but had woken up at midnight in terrible fear and cried that she had been throttled by the late Miloe. Flückinger states that the locals explain the new epidemic with the fact that Miliza, the first to die, had eaten the meat of sheep that the “previous vampires” (i.e. Paole and his victims from five years prior) had killed. He also mentions, in passing, the claims that Stana, before her death, had admitted having smeared herself with blood to protect herself from vampires and would therefore become a vampire herself, as would her child.

The villagers complained of the new deaths to Lieutenant Colonel Schnezzer, the Austrian military commander in charge of the administration. The latter, fearing an epidemic of pestilence, sent for Imperial Contagions-Medicus Glaser stationed in the nearby town of Paraćin. On 12 December 1731, Glaser examined the villagers and their houses. He failed to find any signs of a contagious malady and blamed the deaths on the malnutrition common in the region as well as the unhealthy effects of the severe Eastern Orthodox fasting. However, the villagers insisted that the illnesses were caused by vampires. At the moment, two or three households were gathering together at night, with some asleep and others on the watch. They were convinced that the deaths wouldn’t stop unless the vampires were executed by the authorities, and threatened to abandon the village in order to save their lives if that wasn’t done. Failing Glaser consented to the exhumation of some of the deceased. To his surprise, he found that most of them were not decomposed and many were swollen and had blood in their mouths, while several others who had died more recently were rather decomposed. Glaser outlined his findings in a report to the Jagodina commandant’s office, recommending that the authorities should pacify the population by fulfilling its request to “execute” the vampires. Schnezzer furthered Glaser’s report to the Supreme Command in Belgrade (the city was then held by Austrian forces). The vice-commandant, Botta d’Adorno, sent a second commission to investigate the case.

The new commission included a military surgeon, Johann Flückinger, two officers, lieutenant colonel Büttner and J.H. von Lindenfels, along with two other military surgeons, Siegele and Johann Friedrich Baumgarten. On the 7th of January, together with the village elders and some local Gypsies, they opened the graves of the deceased. Their findings were similar to Glaser’s, although their report contains much more anatomical detail. The commission established that, while five of the corpses (the hadnack’s wife and child, Rade, and the standard-bearer’s wife and child) were decomposed, the remaining twelve were “quite complete and undecayed” and exhibited the traits that were commonly associated with vampirism. Their chests and in some cases other organs were filled with fresh (rather than coagulated) blood; the viscera were estimated to be “in good condition”; various corpses looked plump and their skin had a “red and vivid” (rather than pale) colour; and in several cases, “the skin on hands and feet, along with the old nails, fell away on their own, but on the other hand completely new nails were evident, along with a fresh and vivid skin”. In the case of Miliza, the hajduks who witnessed the dissection were very surprised at her plumpness, stating that they had known her well, from her youth, and that she had always been very “lean and dried-up”; it was only in the grave she had attained this plumpness. The surgeons summarized all these phenomena by stating that the bodies were in “the vampiric condition” (das Vampyrenstand, german). After the examination had been completed, the Gypsies cut off the heads of the supposed vampires and burned both their heads and their bodies, the ashes being thrown in the Morava river. The decomposed bodies were laid back into their graves. The report is dated 26th of January 1732, Belgrade, and bears the signatures of the five officers involved.

On the 13th of February, Glaser’s father, Viennese doctor Johann Friedrich Glaser, who was also a correspondent of the Nuremberg journal Commercium Litterarium, sent its editors a letter describing the entire case as his son had written to him about it already on the 18th of January. The story aroused great interest. After that, both reports (especially Flückinger’s more detailed version) and the letter were reprinted in a number of articles and treatises.

So, in the end, Arnont Paule brought uo the “Vampirism” Pathology Theory. Where people sometimes suspected vampirism when a cadaver did not look as they thought a normal corpse should when disinterred. However, rates of decomposition vary depending on temperature and soil composition, and many of the signs are little known. This has led vampire hunters to mistakenly conclude that a dead body had not decomposed at all, or, ironically, to interpret signs of decomposition as signs of continued life. Corpses swell as gases from decomposition accumulate in the torso and the increased pressure forces blood to ooze from the nose and mouth. This causes the body to look “plump,” “well-fed,” and “ruddy”, changes that are all the more striking if the person was pale or thin in life. Darkening of the skin is also caused by decomposition. The staking of a swollen, decomposing body could cause the body to bleed and force the accumulated gases to escape the body. This could produce a groan-like sound when the gases moved past the vocal cords, or a sound reminiscent of flatulence when they passed through the anus. After death, the skin and gums lose fluids and contract, exposing the roots of the hair, nails, and teeth, even teeth that were concealed in the jaw. This can produce the illusion that the hair, nails, and teeth have grown. At a certain stage, the nails fall off and the skin peels away, the dermis and nail beds emerging underneath could be interpreted as “new skin” and “new nails”. Folkloric vampirism has been associated with clusters of deaths from unidentifiable or mysterious illnesses, usually within the same family or the same small community. The epidemic allusion is obvious in the classical cases and in the vampire beliefs of New England generally, where a specific disease, tuberculosis, was associated with outbreaks of vampirism. As with the pneumonic form of bubonic plague, it was associated with breakdown of lung tissue which would cause blood to appear at the lips.

Nowadays we know that Arnont Paule, Glaser, Flückinger and the Eighteenth Century Vampire Controversy were wrong, and that all those symptoms are caused by decomposition. All of the phenomena described are normal characteristics of corpses at certain stages. Ruddiness is common, non-coagulated blood is often present and may be seen escaping from the orifices, and both nails and the outer layers of the skin peel off.

Vampire Fangs

Posted in General on 04/22/2010 by WickedGentleman

Hey,

I’m going to show you now the many types of vampire fangs. Beggining with the classic or, the

“Dracula” Type:

This type is the most famous vampire fangs, is the first kind of teeth we think when we’re talking about vampires. This fangs were popularized in 1897, when Bram Stoker wrote his fantastic novel, featuring his primary antagonist the Vampire Count Dracula (OMG THIS IS AS GOOD AS Vlad III, The Impaler).

Now a days, we can find this kind of vampire fangs in 99% of the vampire histories, around the world. For some characters, this kind of fangs can also be retractile, showing up just when the vampire is ready to feed himself with some victims blood.

Vampire Lestat Type:

The Anne Rice’s vampire chronicles, were created in the movie with another kind of fangs, where the lateral incisor and the canines are both sharp.

This kind of teeth are not retractable and no matter what you do, you will see them if the vampire talks or smile. Those are not good for the vampire who want to live in the human civilization (nevertheless, the Anne Rice’s vampires can do that very well).

All sharp type:

This kind of type is not that common between the vampire legends around the world, but can be found in some of them. For exemple in a comic book called “Pinochio: The Vampire Slayer” where the vampires have all the teeth sharp. In the World of Darkness adaptation for the vampire hunter, Blade, there are also a type of vampire with all teeth sharp, called the Upier vampire. This kind of teeth are also not retractable and can’t be hidden. In the ‘vampire genoma theory’ those teeth are the most common type when you find a real VampireVampire gen, in another words, the real 100% vampires should have this kind of teeth when the half vampire were just able to have the ‘Dracula’ Type.

Central Incisor (Nosferatu) Type:

This kind of teeth were created in the year of 1922, when the germans brought up the Expressionist movie “Nosferatu: Eine Symphonie Des Grauens” (translated “Nosferatu: A Symphony Of Horror”). Nosferatu is an unauthorized adaptation of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and, because of the copyrights they were forced to change somethings. Count Dracula became “Count Orlok” and “vampire” became “Nosferatu”. Dracula was able to walk around in the day, Nosferatu wasn’t. Dracula had the canines sharp, Nosferatu had the central incisor. Now a days, the WhiteWolf corp. with the World of Darkness, created the Nosferatu vampire clan to the RPG Vampire: the Masquerade, and they also have this kind of teeth.

No Fangs (Twilight) Type:

Despite the author never mentioned ‘fangs’, many Twilight fans talk about fangs in the Twilight series. However, they are also not there when you watch the movie. The ‘no fangs’ can be considerated a new type of vampire teeth. I just wanna know how to they feed themselves without the sharp teeth. It really hurts, maybe.

Anne Rice

Posted in Books 'n writers on 04/15/2010 by WickedGentleman

Hello,

Today I’m going to talk about my favourite book writter, Anne Rice. She is the creator of the second most famous vampire of the world, Lestat de Lioncourt. Talking about vampire books, she  IS STILL the second on the list of the biggest vampire writters of the world, by now she decaying to the third place, being slowly overpassed by Stephenie Meyer and the Twilight Series for 100 million of copies against 42 millions…. Anne is now dedicating her life to create religious books.

(She looks great)

Anne Rice (Birth name Howard Allen O’Brien) was born on October 4, 1941. She was married to the poet and painter Stan Rice for 41 years until his death from cancer in 2002. Her books have sold nearly 100 million copies, making her one of the most widely read authors in modern history.

Rice spent most of her early life in Now Orleans, Louisiana which forms the background against which most of her stories take place. She was the second daughter in a Catholic Irish-American family. Rice’s sister, the late Alice Borchardt, also became a noted genre author. About her unusual given name, Rice said: “My birth name is Howard Allen because apparently my mother thought it was a good idea to name me Howard. My father’s name was Howard, she wanted to name me after Howard, and she thought it was a very interesting thing to do.”

Rice became “Anne” on her first day of school, when a nun asked her what her name was. She told the nun “Anne,” considering it a pretty name. Her mother, who was with her, let it go without correcting her, knowing how self-conscious her daughter was of her real name. From that day on, everyone she knew addressed her as “Anne.”

Rice graduated from Richardson High School, in 1959, to attend Texas Woman’s University in Denton, Texas and later North Texas State College. After a year’s stay in San Francisco, during which she worked as an insurance claims examiner, Anne returned to Denton, Texas to marry Stan Rice, her childhood sweetheart. Stan became an instructor at San Francisco State shortly after receiving his M.A. there, and Anne lived and worked in the San Francisco Bay Area from 1962 to 1988, experiencing the birth of the Hippie Revolution first hand as they lived in the soon to be fabled Haight-Ashbury district. Both attended and graduated from San Francisco State University.

Anne’s daughter Michele was born on September 21, 1966 and died of leukemia on August 5, 1972. She returned to the Catholic Church in 1998 after several years of describing herself as an atheist. She announced she would now use her life and talent of writing to glorify her belief in God, but has not expressly renounced her earlier works. Her son Christopher Rice was born in Berkeley, California in 1978 and is an author.

On January 30, 2004, having already put the largest of her three homes up for sale, Rice announced her plans to leave New Orleans. She cited living alone since the death of her husband as the reason. “Simplifying my life, not owning so much, that’s the chief goal”, said Rice. “I’ll no longer be a citizen of New Orleans in the true sense.” Rice had left New Orleans prior to the events of Hurricane Katrina in August 2005, and none of her former New Orleans properties were flooded. She remains a vocal advocate for the city and related relief projects.

After leaving New Orleans Rice settled in Rancho Mirage, California, allowing her to be closer to her son, who lives in Los Angeles.

In 1958, when Rice was 16, her father moved the family to north Texas, taking up residence in Richardson. Her mother had died three years before of alcoholism. Rice met her future husband while they were both students at Richardson High School. “I’m a totally conservative person,” she later told the New York Times (November 7, 1988). “In the middle of Haight-Ashbury in the 1960s, I was typing away while everybody was dropping acid and smoking grass. I was known as my own square.” She would not return to New Orleans until 1989. She completed her first book, Interview with the Vampire, in 1973 and published it in 1976. This book would be the first in Rice’s popular Vampire Chronicles series, which now includes over a dozen novels, including 1985’s The Vampire Lestat and 1988’s The Queen of the Damned. Along with several non-series works, Rice has written three novels in the Lives of the Mayfair Witches sequence. Additionally, Rice wrote three erotic novels under the pseudonym “A. N. Roquelaure.”

In October 2004, Rice announced in a Newsweek article that she would henceforth “write only for the Lord.” Her subsequent book, Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt, she calls the beginning of a series chronicling the life of Jesus. The second volume, Christ the Lord: The Road to Cana, was published in March 2008.

In 1994, Neil Jordan directed a relatively faithful motion picture adaptation of Interview with the Vampire, from Rice’s own screenplay. The movie starred Tom Cruise as Lestat, Brad Pitt as the guilt-ridden Louis, Antonio Banderas as the beautiful vampire Armand and was a breakout role for young Kirsten Dunst as the deceitful child vampire Claudia.

A second film adaptation, The Queen of the Damned, was released in 2002. Starring Stuart Townsend as the vampire Lestat and singer Aaliyah as Akasha, Queen of the Vampires, the movie combined incidents from the second and third books in the series: The Vampire Lestat and The Queen of the Damned. Produced on a budget of $35 million, the film only recouped $30 million at the domestic(US) box office.

A 1994 film titled Exit to Eden, based loosely on the book Rice published as Anne Rampling, starred Rosie O’Donnell and Dan Aykroyd. The work transformed from a love story into a police comedy, possibly due to the explicit S&M themes of the book. The film was a box office flop.

A film version of Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt was planned but, sadly later cancelled.

In 1997 she wrote a television pilot entitled Rag and Bone starring Dean Cain and Robert Patrick, which featured many of the common themes of her work.

The Feast of All Saints was made into a miniseries in 2001 by director Peter Medak.

Plans to adapt Rice’s Lives of the Mayfair Witches trilogy into a twelve-hour miniseries to be aired on NBC were dropped after a change of studio head and subsequent loss of interest in the project.

In 1997, there was a ballet adaptation of Interview with the Vampire, which premiered in Prague.

On April 25, 2006, the musical Lestat, based on Rice’s Vampire Chronicles books, opened at the Palace Theatre on Broadway after having its world premiere in San Francisco, California in December 2005. With music by Elton John and lyrics by Bernie Taupin, it was the inaugural production of the newly established Warner Brothers Theatre Ventures.

Despite Rice’s own overwhelming approval and praise, the show received mostly poor reviews by critics and disappointing attendance. Lestat closed a month later on May 28, 2006, after just 33 previews and 39 regular performances.

There are also a lot of comic books inspired on Rice’s novels, they are listed bellow:

  • Anne Rice’s The Mummy or Ramses the Damned #1-12 by Millennium Comics (1990)
  • Anne Rice’s Interview with the vampire #1-12 by Innovation Comics (1992)
  • Anne Rice’s Queen of the Damned #1-6 by Innovation Comics (1991)
  • Anne Rice’s The Tale of the Body Thief #1-12 by Sicilian Dragon (1999)
  • Anne Rice’s The Vampire Companion #1-3 by Innovation Comics (1991)
  • Anne Rice’s Vampire Lestat #1-14 by Innovation Comics (1990)
  • Anne Rice’s The Witching Hour #1-5 by Millennium Publishing (1992)

Rice has an adamant stance against fan fiction based on her work, releasing a statement on April 7, 2000, that prohibited all such efforts. This caused the removal of thousands of “fanfics” from the FanFiction.Net website. But the internet is always big and you still can find some of them. I sugest Live Journal and Dany&Dany.

Vampire Chronicles Fanart By Claudiakat (Click to enlarge)

There are also a lot of songs based on her stories, including Cradle of Filth’s Count Lestat, and others like the metalcore band Atreyu declares in the song “The Crimson,” “I’m an Anne Rice novel come to life.” An Italian band called Theatres des Vampires is named after a location featured in several books of The Vampire Chronicles. Their 1999 album is called The Vampire Chronicles. Malice Mizer, a Japanese rock band based heavily on French culture, uses the phrase “Drink from me and live forever” in their song “Transylvania.” “Drink from me and live forever” is a phrase from the first book Interview With the Vampire. Psytrance project Talamasca was named after the secret society in both the Vampire chronicles and the Mayfair Witches series. This is a solo project by the French musician Cedric Dassulle, which also calls himself DJ Lestat. Japanese visual kei rock band Versailles first album, Noble, is subtitled “Vampires Chronicle.” Furthermore, the sixth song is entitled “After Cloudia“, insinuating a relationship with Claudia from the series. The lead singer, Kamijo has stated he models himself after Rice’s character, Lestat de Lioncourt. The band Disturbed made the song Forsaken, that with Marilyn Manson’s Redeemer were sang by the Vampire Lastat on the movie Queen of Damned.

Her books are listed bellow:

This is how the real vampires look like.

The Vampire Chronicles

  • Interview with the Vampire (1976)
  • The Vampire Lestat (1985)
  • The Queen of the Damned (1988)
  • The Tale of the Body Thief (1992)
  • Memnoch the Devil (1995)
  • The Vampire Armand (1998)
  • Merrick (2000)
  • Blood and Gold (2001)
  • Blackwood Farm (2002)
  • Blood Canticle (2003)

New Tales of the Vampires

  • Pandora (1998)
  • Vittorio the Vampire (1999)

The Lives of the Mayfair Witches

  • The Witching Hour (1990)
  • Lasher (1993)
  • Taltos (1994)

Vampire/Mayfair crossover

In these novels the Mayfair Witches become part of the Vampire Chronicles world.

  • Merrick (2000)
  • Blackwood Farm (2002)
  • Blood Canticle (2003)

The Life of Christ

  • Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt (2005)
  • Christ the Lord: The Road to Cana (2008)
  • Christ the Lord: The Kingdom of Heaven (date not announced)

Songs of the Seraphim

  • Angel Time (October 2009)

Miscellaneous novels

  • The Feast of All Saints (1979)
  • Cry to Heaven (1982)
  • The Mummy (1989)
  • Servant of the Bones (1996)
  • Violin (1997)

Short fiction

  • October 4, 1948 (1965)
  • Nicholas and Jean (first ch. 1966)
  • The Master of Rampling Gate (Vampire Short Story) (1982)

Non-fiction

  • Called Out of Darkness: A Spiritual Confession (2008) (autobiographical)

Under the pseudonym Anne Rampling

  • Exit to Eden (1985)
  • Belinda (1986)

Under the pseudonym A.N. Roquelaure

  • The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty (1983)
  • Beauty’s Punishment (1984)
  • Beauty’s Release (1985)

In the US is possible to find a lot of Anne Rice’s fanclubs and book conventions.

The coolest vampire lestat quotes:

“I’m the vampire Lestat. Remember me? The vampire who became a super rock star, the one who wrote the autobiography? The one with the blond hair and the grey, and the insatiable desire for visibility and fame? You remember…”

“…I hated the fact only extreme pain in me could ever wring from her the slightest warmth or interest.”

“…And what constitutes evil, real evil, is the taking of a single human life. Whether a man would die tomorrow or the day after or eventually… it doesn’t matter. Because if God does not exist, then life… every second of it… Is all we have.” – Louis

“And she had been awakened, she had risen That music of yours could wake the dead. I’d done it again.”

“Finally those you love are simply… those you love.”

“I will be the Vampire Lestat for all to see. A symbol, a freak of nature – something loved, something despised, all of those things. I tell you I can’t give it up. I can’t miss. And quite frankly I am not in the least afraid.”

quotes source: lestatsdarkgiftshop